My beloved (inspired by performing Julia in “The Rivals”) | 7.2.03

My beloved,

As I lay here on my bed, I think of you. It is almost midnight…do you dream of me? Every night in my cold bed, I whisper your name before I close my eyes, wishing that I dream of you tonight. Surely we embrace in bliss until we wake for morning’s praise only to hear your gentle voice as we share our days’ joys and remorse…the course of time lost in sweet grace…before long it is time to part and we kiss farewell in faith for our health and well-being. The days’ chores chase the sun to rise and fall and at dawn your loving words light a smile to my face…I am at peace with the distance because I know your heart beats next to mine, I feel your soul rests next to mine. I sacrifice my longing for you today for tomorrows’ promises hold me to sleep. Sweet dreams, my love. Good night.

Your beloved

YOU | 7.23.02

I listen to Bocelli / I start to reminisce in the midst of all this so silly I cannot wipe the smile off my face / trace of your laughter only to capture a moment of bliss / miss your presence beside me but it’s funny / I don’t know you that well that long / feel so wrong without you so right when I’m with you / so anxious to see you so eager to know you / I need to be cautious though / all I know all you show a veiled one-sided lopsided side of you / your charm may just be a part of your scheme / keen to tease me into believing that you’re that type of guy sensible and responsible / that type of guy that’s so easy going & understanding so loving & endearing willing to go out on a limb for me / who knows I may never know / but I’m biased to see a glimpse of a hint / can’t help but to notice witness a warm sensitive gentle side of you you so subtly expose / I am drawn to you / you inspire me to write / to express these lyrical feelings transpire to travel not only in my mind but across to you to where you are / transpose past these pages / communicate enunciate these images & words that come to mind only to find that all this may just be a dream / hallucination infatuation has grabbed me from all my reason / ceasing this moment / living in this moment / being swept off my feet by this seasonal breeze weep to hope that this will turn into something / that it won’t be just another fling / mingling to ease the feeling of loneliness / avoiding the lonesomeness / the silence in isolation in your shelter of seclusion / but this tingling sensation is proof that this is no other typical relation / it’s extraordinary in its quality to heighten my senses / frightened to find out where this may end where I may end up / but I will never know until I allow myself to follow my instinct / distinct in its wave of intense stimulation / revelation to feel the motivation to dive & fall through the sky with the risk of dying / sighing as facts reveal the possible highly likely conclusion / a nuisance I may become as time fades out the color in me / buying into my fears nigh on me dawn on me that this may never be what I wish it to be / stripped of all my notion / oceans of dreams drained & tainted only to be filtered through common sense / saturated with safety / find refuge in my own walls of protection so high to keep away not only strangers, betrayers, traitors & abusers / sorry I do not mean to offend you but my past alert me so fast to stay away from men who do not respect me / who will define me to confine me and set limitations on me to deny & despise my aspirations & independence / who will not see me nor take the time to feel me / to find the true treasure hidden deep inside me / only for that special unusual exceptional one / with patience & persistence perseverance & intelligence / a beautiful mind that can see not only with the eye surpass the systematic judgmental process such nonsense / the charismatic ability to phenomenally transcend sense to the sixth degree / to stare & glare past & beyond the present & future the surface the reflection / with inclination desperate determination to find a jewel only you can find in me / that one may just be you