I’ve just closed my eyes

Raw Exploration

I’ve just closed my eyes so I can’t check my typing and just type as fast as I can to catch up with my thoughts. I want to write, write as well as I possibly can. I miss Mama. I think about her, especially on this day. My birthday. I want to hear her voice. I know she is far away and not only in the physical sense. But I want to feel closer to her now. I want to feel her close to me. Because I just miss her so much. I miss all that we’ve shared. I miss her touch. I miss her hands on me. I miss seeing her earnest smile. I want to see her. I want to call her right now. I want to make her want to call me. I want to make her call me. Mama. We’re so different but so similar. I was thinking earlier today that I got her soft, tender heart. It is from her I learned to love and give myself completely to loved ones. To never question the good of people. To trust. I learned from her to live in my heart.

It’s my birthday

Raw Exploration

It’s my birthday. It’s my birthday. I smile a big smile. Biggest I’ve ever smiled. It hurts. Only because I’m happy. I’m just so proud to be able to welcome and rejoice this day with the woman that I am. How far I’ve come and how long this journey has taken. Long and winding paths, never really knowing where I was headed. Only dreaming of where I’d be and look where I am now. I am just excited about my life right now and where it will take me. It can only get better. I want to stop thinking so hard about what I’m going to type and let my words flow. What an amazing bottle of wine. I love the name: North Star. I have to keep writing and not stop. I don’t know what I’m writing. I want to let my thoughts flow and be fluid with my body.