Fuck this family I was given,
threatening with an ultimatum of
a choice between Him or Them.
Self-indulgent and foolish
to believe in play of terrorization and coercion.
I won’t fall for their trap of menace
and sacrifice my passage of fulfilled happiness and absolute contentment.
How ironic, they are convinced of their power over shallow knowledge of ignorance and determined in their righteous virtue of honorable antiquity.
I will not fall prey to their bait of guilt, shame, and betrayal,
for I have done nothing wrong but to offer my unconditional love to a mature, kind, smart white man who saved me from self-punishment rooted in their provision of an abusive childhood environment.
How absurd to deny my right to this life I corrected.
How illogical to claim any right, once abandoned and neglected.
Their fluctuation from convenient absentmindedness of distraction to forceful awareness of egotism is blatantly mocking, ridiculous, vulgar and frankly insulting.
Shoot me, kill me, do me as they please but spare me the lecture of a life never lived, a life privileged and secluded, a life I despise and abhor with everything I know to be true, genuine, and meaningful.
Clearly I have grown beyond their zone of comfort, degree of perception, and scope of cultural embrace but how dare they revoke complete accountability with such quick fingers to point and blame me for my selfishness to choose based on self-interest and absolute disregard to their pain of a shattered, artificial dream.
I refuse to be apologetic any more for my stubborn nature, my extreme resilience to adversity, and my willingness to risk and change for the better.
I live and stand proud on my own, without my kin;
I will die in peace, effortless without regrets.
And I am certain my Grandmother will welcome me with profound love and congratulate my ferocious, dynamic life like hers.
I believe in karma and my family will face their devils on their own time.
Tags: abandon, anger, antiquity, betrayal, change, conflict, disapprove, disownment, dysfunction, East, explorations, family, grandma, grandmother, guilt, honor, Japan, karma, kin, life, love, neglect, pain, personal, poem, Poetry, raw, reflect, reflection, self, shame, struggle, stubborn, Thoughts, tradition, truth, values, West, writing
